Pain = “The Dragon”
“Dragon, may I?”
All the sudden we have to check in with this “dragon“ and ask for permission:
“Can I go mow the lawn today?”
All the sudden we have to negotiate with our “dragon“ if we didn’t get the permission we asked for:
“Can I just mow the front yard so the neighbors don’t think I’m a total loser and that I actually care about maintaining my yard and home?”
READ THAT AGAIN
We go from removing ONE LAYER of making our own decisions on what we do in a day and it affects the way WE SEE OURSELVES
“I can’t mow the yard today because my back is out, and now my lawn is going to look shaggy and like trash and it’s my fault. My neighbors are going to think that I don’t care about maintaining a nice yard, what will they think the inside of my home looks like if I can’t even keep my lawn mowed. What a loser. I don’t deserve this house and yard if I can’t keep them maintained. I don’t deserve these great neighbors and neighborhood if I can’t hold up my end of the deal with them. What if I can’t mow the yard next week either?
The Dragon is Unreliable
Even after we go do all the work of getting permission from our pain to do the things we want to do, that pain can revoke that permission WITHOUT WARNING
“I did all the right things, and now I just have this radiating pain down my leg and my low muscles are tight, I can’t even stand up straight, I can barely breathe, and I feel like I’m going to topple over if I lean forward at all.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
“What do I do now? I did everything right, and it STILL didn’t work…”
Pain is both Universal and Isolating
Whether it’s your lower back, neck, knee, elbow, shoulder, wrist, or foot pain, headaches or stomach issues, pain is universal.
Anyone who’s been injured, twisted ankle, tension headache, food poisoning has felt similar feelings
Add the words “long term” or “chronic” , bad knee, migraines, Crone’s and the same holds true.
It is also isolating.
When we are in pain we believe that we are the only ones who have EVER felt this way.
It completely narrows our view of the world, nothing else exists outside of “what can I do to not feel this?”
Why?
There’s something in the lizard part of our brain that lights up at the presence of pain.
Is it because:
it reminds us we are mortal?
there are consequences to our actions?
the universe is inherently hostile?
we don’t deserve to feel good?
All we truly know is our lizard brain is lit up and that FEELING is incredibly uncomfortable
Uncertainty?
Doubt?
Fear?
Loss?
Anger?
Frustration?
Now What?
We are in this physical pain, lost access to all the freedom that allows us to be who we are and do what we do. On top of that, no amount of talking or thinking, doing nothing, doing everything is getting us out of this situation
Take a Breath
Literally.
Take a breath and make an honest assessment of our current (in this moment) situation.
Do we need to seek medical attention?
Do we need to sit down for 10-15 minutes to see if that helps?
Do we need someone to talk to?
What makes us feel better?
What makes us feel worse?
Invite The Dragon to Tea
Our emotions (what are feel) are right 100% all of the time
Our interpretations of those emotions (why are feeling) are almost never accurate
So…let’s go to tea
Inviting the dragon to tea gives us some control back. We get to feel feelings, and get a more accurate interpretation of WHY we are feeling that way.
We get to a root cause we can work to find a solution for, rather than being stuck in the loop of trying to find a solution when we don’t know the cause
(example: the dragon is blowing fire everywhere, wrecking building and smashing cars)
We need to ask ourselves
“what am I physically feeling in this moment?”
…get everything (and I mean everything) out on the table, more than just the physical “what I should be feeling as injured”
is your throat tight?
is it hard to breathe?
does your stomach hurt?
are your ears ringing?
are there knots in your back or shoulders?
Then,
“what does that mean?”
Stories, stories, stories, stories get them out…all of them. Just like emotions, the stories need somewhere to go too. Get them out, give them a voice, write them down, it’s okay. They aren’t going anywhere until you want them to and are ready
Finally, the BIG QUESTION
“is that true?”
I didn’t say “are these the facts of the case?” I said, “is this true?” and you and I both know there is a difference and that difference matters
We get wrapped up into layers upon layers upon layers upon layers of stories and nonsense, and “is that true?” cuts all that away until all that’s left is what actually needs to be addressed
Imagine, you have this dragon, who’s causing a ruckus all throughout the town, they lay waste to all kinds of destruction. We take them to tea and find out they have a toothache and didn’t know how to tell us, so we take them to the dentist and all is right with the world (for now)
We don’t often invite our dragons to tea and since we don’t do it often we are not comfortable or confident we’ll do it right (spoiler alert: none of us are good at anything without practice)
Start Somewhere
Pain sucks.
It’s the one thing that can cancel every plan we’ve made and change the way we see ourselves in one moment
We do get to choose how we respond when we experience pain. We always have that choice
Good read Sarah …